Top 10 Reasons To Be Amish

10. Wife never wears the “pants” in your family.

9. Everything goes with black.

8. You can be a facial hair trendsetter.

7. No pesky electric bills.

6. Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are scared you will convert them.

5. If you have a bad hair day, no one will know.

4. Eat buckets of bacon fat, and still look emaciated.

3. Cow poo smells even better when it’s in your own back yard.

2. Guaranteed to win every “Who has the longest last name contest”

1. Job security – no one else wants to be Amish.